Keep on plodding

 After recent setbacks I'm doing my best to get back on track for the last few weeks of training. I ended up taking most of a week off work because of something that had happened; my attempts to go back like normal, to brush it off and just get on with things resulted in a real, physical reaction. High stress levels are definitely a trigger for worsening many of my menopausal symptoms (especially palpitations and GI stuff), so the last week has been quite a struggle one way or another. But despite all that I managed a fairly consistent week of training last week although neither of my structured runs went to plan. Ideally I'd like to stick to the plan of two structured speed/hills runs a week plus 1 easy and 2 long runs but if life and stuff are getting in the way I'll settle for consistency. Fretting about missing an intervals session or a decent set of hill reps is counter-productive; it won't undo everything that's come before but it will waste energy.            

Nutrition is proving tricky again. High stress really messes up my gut and at the moment it's not easy finding nutritious food my stomach will tolerate. I've lost around a kg and if I'm honest, although some of my clothes might look better on me for less weight, I need that kg for race reserves. I'm still playing around with race day food too. At the weekend I tried an apple and cinnamon Mountain Fuel gel but spat out the first mouthful as it really wasn't to my taste. So now, rather than throw any more money at gels, bars, chews or whatever, I'm going to get some very small freezer bags and make little portions of rice pudding 'gel'. Might not be quite as tidy to eat on the go as a gel, but I'm all out of ideas now. Hopefully I'll get to try this out at the weekend.

The one thing I haven't done that I really need to, is get out on the race loop in the dark. Realistically that will probably only happen once, and for one loop, but I just want to know that I can safely navigate it in the dark. The last couple of miles I've done as it's the last part of the Two Towers, but I'm a little apprehensive about several stretches earlier on. About 3 miles in there are several  turnings it could be easy to miss in the dark, and around 6 or 7 miles in there's a stretch where the trail itself isn't clear and even in daylight I've found myself wandering off course slightly. It's funny, in a race situation being on my own in the dark doesn't worry me but I do get fretful if it's on a training run and I worry if I 'ought' to be out in the dark 'just' for a training run. 

What else? Nothing much. I don't do or achieve anything spectacular or out of the ordinary, just plod along trying to make the best of things. I've found keeping up the training and trying to focus on eating well hard work this year, and I'm mindful of the countless sacrifices made along the way to this race. Not just sacrifices where I've got up and trained even though I wanted to stay in bed, or not had biscuits when I really wanted some, but all the times training has impacted on my family. I feel guilty putting a race above everything else. It's been hard, really hard and once this is done I need a long break.

For now though, it's onwards and upwards. Keep plodding.

Mike refusing to be defeated by Satan's staircase

Setbacks

 Despite taking some time to recover after Two Towers, it's been hard to get back to training again. It could be that the race took more out of me than I realised at the time; it could be the change in seasons as I find the extra hours of dark make me feel more tired and less inclined to want to do anything other than eat biscuits; it could be because of work (which has been awful). It could also be because of a few weekends that have been all out of the usual routine. But whatever the reason, I'm just not where I need to be in terms of training or in my mental state and I don't know what to do.

This weekend I've tried to salvage a far from ideal training week by getting out for 2 long runs. These days unless I'm doing a double Copthorne I don't often run more than 10-12 miles in one go in training because I just get so tired and not enough time to recover, but I managed almost 17 miles yesterday and 14 today with around 1100m of up. Probably I should have gone somewhere to get more hill work, but I couldn't face getting in the car; next weekend I'll find some bigger hills.

It's only 6 weeks until race day- what felt so far away is now almost here-  so for the next 4 weeks I really need to push on, keep up the strength and speed work, and keep hiking up hills. I also need to sit and plan race day nutrition- although I've been working hard to pay attention to my daily diet, I've not spent enough time thinking about what I need to be eating during the race. After Two Towers I knew I'd have to find some alternative ways of getting calories in, in case of not being able to face actually eating. Since then I've tried some of the Mountain Fuel energy powder and, after a bit of experimenting, seem to have found a way to make that work for me. It's expensive, and I'm avoiding thinking about how much I've spent on getting ready for this race, but I guess all the money I've not spent on wine over the last 10 months has contributed to race kit and nutrition.

 I think I've said before that this is the first time I've approached a race with a really clear, competitive goal. This scares me quite a bit and I worry that I'm not treating the race with enough respect. Who am I to think I can finish this race? Plenty of far more accomplished runners have failed to cross the finish line so why should I be any different? On the other hand, there's no point in starting the race if I don't believe there's a chance of finishing. It's time to regain focus somehow and let race day bring what it brings.