Midsummer malaise

Midsummer has been and gone, plans have been made and ditched, job applications sent and rejected.
I've been in the exam hall pretty much full-time which is exhausting even though I enjoy it.
I'm making myself go running even though I don't really feel like it. The loss of desire to run is such that I have put in my diary the date by which I need to withdraw from Autumn 100; I'm not sure I have any business on a 100 miler race this year.
It's hard going at the moment.

On a positive note the results from my last DXA scan show there is some improvement in my hips although my spine continues to deteriorate albeit more slowly. My GP says keep running as it seems to be having a beneficial effect on my hips at least.

I've stopped thinking about trying to focus on this year's races. OCC is now a day out in the mountains rather than an A race to seriously prepare for. I'm such a long way from being physically or mentally in the right place there's simply no point in having any goals other than to get round.  Instead I'm looking ahead to next year: perhaps 2020 is time to attempt some challenges rather than enter races. In light of which I'm off to some mountains to assess whether something I have in mind is achievable. Hopefully a couple of days away from everything and doing something challenging will help reset mind and body too.

onwards and upwards

It's never easy

I meant to write a lovely post about Eco Trail Florence. I started it but just couldn't seem to capture what that race meant to me. All I'll say is that it is a fantastic event, lovely route, well-organised, good aid stations and a joy to take part in. I didn't race it, just bimbled round and took in the sunshine and scenery.

Here's the Eco Trail in no particular order:

Since then a lot has been going on. I've struggled to recover from recurring tonsillitis, left my job and  discovered that osteoporosis makes me unemployable. I do have casual work to do until the end of the exams season but something regular needs to turn up soon.

Training hasn't gone to plan at all. Motivation and focus seem to have disappeared and although I'm keeping things ticking over I'm not in great shape. That's despite an intensive 6 week block of strength work. OCC is preying on my mind- it's looking like I'll be going into it somewhat under-cooked- and compared to how I prepared for A100 last year, I'm just not in the the zone at all for it. Mileage is well down compared to last year, and other than the 50 miles of the Eco Trail race I've run nothing really over 10 miles this year. Although it's nice once I get out on the trails, running more than about 6 miles feels much harder than it should.

I increased my strength work and tweaked my diet to try to shift the extra fat that's accumulated since A100 but it doesn't seem to have worked so I might as well try upping the mileage again and see what that does. A bit of me is thinking that it's a losing battle against age and hormonal changes. Women younger than me complain about how bad periods really affect their training; this is far worse because it's all the time. I'm tired, unfocused, struggling to maintain fitness; I don't recognise this new body or feel like it's me at all.

I don't know how things are going to turn out for the rest of the year. Watch this space.