Growing pains

 Since April I have sat down and tried to write another blog post so many times but could never quite figure out what I wanted to say or get the words right. Hopefully this time it will work out.

Since last writing there has been a lot of change. Some of these changes have been incredibly difficult to live with and I feel as though I've been in a state of flight-or-fight for so long. Some changes are those that come as your children become adults and are a mixture of relief, pride, and sorrow. This summer we've had A-levels and GCSEs in our house and it's not been an easy time. Nevertheless both teens survived, did the best they could and are settling in to new challenges. Work challenges are not something I write about here- suffice to say last term in particular was difficult and the coming year is not going to be an easy one either as enormous changes are happening as the school grows. My priority is not to become exhausted by it all.

Running has remained a challenge despite finishing the Centurion virtual slam. I had a really good block of training through to July which was supposed to culminate in a 24 hour race- the Copthorne Canter run by Canary Trail Events. Unfortunately the event was cancelled as the National Trust hadn't finished repair work to some trails in time, but as I'd worked so hard I decided to run it anyway.  I'd planned on running a maximum of 100km for the Canter as I didn't want to leave myself needing too much recovery, but as there was no race I figured 50 miles around the Surrey Hills would be decent and give me a good idea of where I was at in terms of fitness.

My 'I don't think I'm having fun' face

It was tough running loop after loop on my own but I was fortunate to have some support at my 'checkpoint' and, later on, access to cups of tea! It was mostly pretty good although I never quite felt properly settled in. Towards the end of the fourth loop I almost took a fall on the last downhill when I caught one foot then the other on big chunks of flint. I'm not sure how I managed to land on my feet rather than my face and it really rattled me. Luckily I had someone to pace me for the last 10 miles and that made a big difference, although around 45 miles I had a typical ultra-meltdown and stood in Boxhill sobbing because it hurt so much and I was so tired and didn't want to run any more. However, the last ascent of Satan's Staircase wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, and apparently I practically flew into the village hall on the last quarter mile so I think there really is something to be said for the restorative properties of a power sob! In the end I completed 51 miles with 3,108m ascent in just under 13.5 hours.

All races should have cheese, grapes and pineapple on sticks at the finish

Since that little outing it's been really hard to get back into regular decent training. Over the summer break I've been extremely tired, back to a lot of pain first thing in the morning, and dealing with bouts of nausea and dizziness. The brain demons have been getting very noisy too and I know that trying to deal with them has taken so much energy and eaten away at times where I should have been content and relaxed. Any of these things could be down to hormonal stuff, but could also be because I've had so little time to myself and I'm just fatigued at a very deep level. Whatever it is, I need to keep going and do my best to stay strong and healthy.

What's next?

A night race in a couple of weeks time and then at the end of November it's the race this whole year is about- the Copthorne Races. Specifically the Copthorne 100. There hasn't been a female finisher...

...Yet.

Not the Copthorne Canter completed with help from Michele, Bailey, Fiona and especially from Mike. Cheese and pineapple provided by Ivor and Cara. Thank you all.