Setbacks

 Despite taking some time to recover after Two Towers, it's been hard to get back to training again. It could be that the race took more out of me than I realised at the time; it could be the change in seasons as I find the extra hours of dark make me feel more tired and less inclined to want to do anything other than eat biscuits; it could be because of work (which has been awful). It could also be because of a few weekends that have been all out of the usual routine. But whatever the reason, I'm just not where I need to be in terms of training or in my mental state and I don't know what to do.

This weekend I've tried to salvage a far from ideal training week by getting out for 2 long runs. These days unless I'm doing a double Copthorne I don't often run more than 10-12 miles in one go in training because I just get so tired and not enough time to recover, but I managed almost 17 miles yesterday and 14 today with around 1100m of up. Probably I should have gone somewhere to get more hill work, but I couldn't face getting in the car; next weekend I'll find some bigger hills.

It's only 6 weeks until race day- what felt so far away is now almost here-  so for the next 4 weeks I really need to push on, keep up the strength and speed work, and keep hiking up hills. I also need to sit and plan race day nutrition- although I've been working hard to pay attention to my daily diet, I've not spent enough time thinking about what I need to be eating during the race. After Two Towers I knew I'd have to find some alternative ways of getting calories in, in case of not being able to face actually eating. Since then I've tried some of the Mountain Fuel energy powder and, after a bit of experimenting, seem to have found a way to make that work for me. It's expensive, and I'm avoiding thinking about how much I've spent on getting ready for this race, but I guess all the money I've not spent on wine over the last 10 months has contributed to race kit and nutrition.

 I think I've said before that this is the first time I've approached a race with a really clear, competitive goal. This scares me quite a bit and I worry that I'm not treating the race with enough respect. Who am I to think I can finish this race? Plenty of far more accomplished runners have failed to cross the finish line so why should I be any different? On the other hand, there's no point in starting the race if I don't believe there's a chance of finishing. It's time to regain focus somehow and let race day bring what it brings.