Spring update

 I was going to write a report on running Canary Trail Events inaugural Surrey Hills Marathon in March but never got around to it. Partly because of being busy but also because I had a rubbish day and I didn't want to make it sound like the event is rubbish because it's not. It was friendly, low-key, well-organised, everything you'd expect from the CTE team. But I just had a bad day out. My head wasn't in the right place at all and I couldn't focus on the task in hand. And I had a complete melt down at mile 20, for ne obvious reason just completely fell apart.

Photo by Lenny Martin

Then last month I ran Runaway Racing Chiltern Ridge 50km. Another rubbish day out. I had wanted to finish in around 5:30 but was almost an hour slower. There just didn't seem to be anything in my legs although conditions underfoot were quite nasty in places which certainly didn't help. I pushed myself as much as I could but my body wouldn't respond how I needed it to which was incredibly frustrating. And again, another melt down at the last CP. I don't know what was wrong. Maybe I got nutrition wrong; maybe I was just exhausted from how the year has gone so far; maybe there was no particular reason.

Anyway, for various reasons it's been tough trying to recover from the last race but I'm doing my best to focus on nutrition, sleep and adapting training to what I think my body needs. 

Right now the race in November feels like an impossibility. I can't see or imagine how I can be ready for it let alone finish. When I was training for Copthorne 100 I was really focussed and training for that race was the most important thing in my life but I can't seem to find that drive and focus now. I don't know if it's because I don't care enough about it, whether I'm deeply fatigued, whether the pressures of simply surviving and making ends meet are taking all my energy.