Postcard from Limbo

It's not been the greatest of summers. Pretty much everything (much of which isn't for blogging about) seems to have taken a nosedive all at once and it's been an endless string of bad luck although at least as far as training goes thankfully I've managed to avoid anything worse than a few niggles.

I'm in a strange place with running. It's just two months until the Autumn 100 which is both still a long time yet really not long at all. At the moment there are days when I want to run for hours but just as many when I don't want to get out of bed let alone run at all. If I was a proper runner I'd have at least 1 more block of structured training but because of other demands I can't do anything much in terms of structure or volume over the holidays and I don't want to ramp things up once I'm back to work in September as that seems like too much too late. But as it is it feels like it's too long a time to just be waiting.

Kit preparation has been a nightmare. Ended up paying a small fortune to replace my worn out trail shoes (the misery that it is being a very wide-footed runner!). The UD race vest I bought had a fault so I sent it back only to have Royal Mail lose it so no refund or replacement. Think I'll be sewing on bits of elastic to my Decathlon vest so I can be sure all the mandatory kit doesn't fall out! I don't have a watch that will last the duration of the race- the Garmin 230 doesn't charge on the go- but no way can I fork out for a new watch with better battery life/charging.

Right now it's very hard to feel positive about it all but I really don't need anyone else to tell me that success in a 100 miler is down to mindset. Given the disaster this year has been, I think I've done more or less the best I can with training. The complete lack of longer ultras for race practise is definitely a worry as I've done nothing significant since June last year, but that's been out of my control. Diet is something I can control and I've been doing my best to eat well despite mostly swinging between comfort eating and not wanting to eat all. Sleep is another matter. But maybe being used to functioning in a sleep-deprived state will be enough to get me through 27 hours of being on my feet and rather longer with no sleep at all.

To be perfectly honest, I'm scared of what will happen and scared of failing. People say as long as you've got to the start having done the best you can that's all that matters. But how do you know if you've done your best both in terms of preparation and on the day?

Answers on a postcard.