Running Solo

Well. It's all been pretty rubbish. I've been very unwell with yet another bout of tonsillitis, things really haven't settled down in my new job, the kids are having a nightmare getting to school most days, I won't get paid until the end of October...

And then the fella dumped me.

Plans for A100 are all in the bin. If I can make it to the start then I'll give it a go but with the aim simply of getting round. I've been too unwell and lost far too much weight to be fit enough to try to achieve what I wanted. Running it with no friendly face waiting for me at the finish will be so hard but I've run plenty of races alone before. I just hope I don't kill myself driving home afterwards.

It's completely floored me; the plans I'd had for the coming months are all in tatters and I feel adrift and lost. I have been trying to think ahead to next year but without knowing how much A100 is going to take out of me it's not easy to plan races. These days it seems so many races sell out so quickly and I don't want to be under pressure to enter things if I'm not sure if I'll be fit enough to be on the start line. There are lots of races I'd like to do, but there are also now quite a few I'll never be able to run.

I guess it's probably just as well I've been ill and that it's now taper time too because otherwise I'd be out there literally running myself into the ground. Running has helped me cope with bad times before but now every step on my local trails reminds me of what was, of a time when there was light and love. Healing, if it comes at all, is going to be painfully slow.